Wal-Mart Cashiers

When I shop at our nearest Wal-Mart, I'm reminded of two hilarious scenes in the movie Shaun of the Dead.  There's this female cashier who looks like she's either stoned out of her mind or completely plastered.  She's slowly scanning items with that same distant, zombie-like expression, lethargic and apathetic.  Roughly fifteen or twenty minutes later, she's found in the backyard of the protagonists' town home, staring at their garden.  The main characters think she's drunk...but she's actually a recently-turned zombie, and they only find out after she gets up after being mistakenly pushed onto a protruding steel pipe.  In both instances, she still had that same lethargic look, completely indistinguishable from living or dead.

Seriously, I could elbow myself in the groin and those cashiers wouldn't crack a smile.  Doesn't matter the demographic, either.  College kid (perhaps the worst).  Middle-aged mothers (with the no-BS attitude).  Even the creepy older guy with long greasy, slicked-back hair (who also smiles at your kids and makes them cry).  Either way, the same apathetic expressions.  Makes looking for lower prices far more costly.  Is working at Wal-Mart that  torturous?  Now I'm not expecting a back massage or a personalized tour throughout the store...I'd just like something simple like a quick smile or a "Hello." 

Then again...I also thought I'd be able to get an autographed basketball card from my favorite player while sitting in the nosebleed section. 

But who ever said you can't dream?

Forgetfulness

Let's face it.  I have a great memory... I just can't remember specific examples.

Ever written a grocery list (or any other kind of shopping list) and forgotten to include one item?  Happens to me all of the time.  My wife will text me a list of groceries to buy on my way home from work...and I'll often buy the entire list, with one item missing.  I'll arrive home, silently proud that I'm carrying all grocery bags in one hand, just waiting for that look of approval and gratitude (maybe a little comment in Russian that means "Strong").  That fleeting moment of pride is then robbed with the question:  "You didn't buy [such and such]?"  Then the thought:  "Oh, crap, I forgot something again..."

At least my wife smiles warmly while shaking her head, as I've just confirmed her opinion of my forgetfulness.  (FYI:  It also provides me some precious moments when she forgets something, something that I've actually remembered.)